Wedding Day - August 23, 2003
I cannot explain how much I love her.
I know now that I have been a searcher my whole life. Searching for truth and love and what it means to be a man. All I know is that much of my searching has ended. I have found the answers in the presence of this wonderful lady.
My search for truth started out as a search for God. After years of study I became disillusioned by the careless, convoluted reasoning that religion offered. Even the best minds overlookedl the simplicity of it all.
Medieval romance introduced me to the cult of chivalry. I found comfort there more than I imagined possible. There I learned about the primacy of love, the nobility and fallibility of human nature, the spirit of good in conflict with evil. Most of all, I learned that the pinacle of love is something real. It can be attained. Such love encourages the striving for personal improvement, adding a vital element to what it means to be a man.
I also learned this: A man who loves poorly, or only himself, is sorely incomplete.
Lynne brought all of this together for me. Her smile reflected the culmination of all these truths. I understood them now. They were not just concepts, but something alive and stirring deep in my soul.
I knew, for the first time in my life, I was not alone anymore.
They say God is love. If that is true, then I found something of God in her eyes, burning, happy yet painful, just as the troubadours said. I found truth in the quick reality of each moment together, and the highest bliss while sharing the intimacy of our hearts. In this I found what it means to be a man. I have found the woman who completes me at the deepest level.
She brought Celtic music into my life. Rich, tragic and beautiful. Music drawn from a forgotten age, from lovers past, braving the hardships and discomfort of a reality somewhat truer than our own. It draws me from today's illusions of flickering screens and shallow entertainment. The touch of Lynne's hand is all the catalyst I need to find this immediacy of being.
I cannot explain how much I love her. There are no measures. The human heart is fickle and weak and easily distracted. But something has changed in me because of her. Something strong and beautiful has been born. Fickleness seems unworthy, false, a sign of weakness, something to loath. Distractions? Who or what can distract me from the source of all my happiness?
We were married on August 23, 2003. The ceremony was quiet and simple in our own backyard. A friend served as justice of the peace. Two other friends bore witness.
It took place in our shade garden, surrounded by trees and stones, an iron knight and a resin fairy. Birds were watching. The air was comfortably warm. The justice, a woman named Darlene, read words of celebration, and soon pronounced us husband and wife.
We did not read statements that we wrote. It would have been anticlimactic. We express our feelings privately all the time, and not for public display.
I cannot explain how much I love her. And there's frustration in that. Happy frustration. I guess I'll just keep trying. All I know is that I am bound to her at the deepest level, and feel confident that such love will never end.
Lynne has all the qualities I ever wanted in a lover and friend. Funny, light-hearted, intelligent, caring, passionate, attentive, slow to anger, constant and extremely loving. Her smile really does "light up a room" as anyone who knows her will tell you.
Now we are married, and I constantly feel the magic of that bond. I think she does too.